TheGioBlog

as a girl, i spent a large part of my life learning to stay silent about the small acts of violence i faced along the way.

i learned to silence myself when i heard a man yell at me for the first time, at 15.
something my own father had never done to me.

as i have described before on this blog, that scream was followed by other silences.
many times, the simple fact that i had responded, or somehow allowed the situation to reach that point, began to feel like guilt.

i learned to silence myself when i realized that boys are given the freedom and the voice to say, do, and act however they want toward us, and still find support, sometimes even from other women.

i learned how easily we are invalidated when i saw clear cases of sexual violence, of boyfriends and husbands who continue to insist even after hearing no.
trauma being created, and yet we ourselves are taught that this behavior is expected, almost inevitable.

so often, we are made out to be the problem, even when we are not.
when we are deceived, when we are manipulated, we learn from an early age to search for our own guilt.
what made this person treat me this way?
where did i go wrong?

we are taught to compete and fight with other girls, trapped in a rivalry invented by the patriarchy itself, where women, by being turned into one another’s enemies, remain exactly where they are expected to be: silent.

and while we learn to stay silent, the numbers continue speaking for us.

how far will this silence take us? when will we learn to speak and act for ourselves? when will we stop carrying such a heavy burden? mothers, therapists, maids, caregivers, servants. a piece made from a rib, created to serve someone else.

every day, this silence kills more of us.